So, I don't like to admit it, but I'm allergic to dairy. I sneeze like crazy after eating a bowl of ice cream. However, I still have this idea I like ice cream, even though it coats my insides in an uncomfortable way and starts me on cold-like symptoms.
This is me facing--say yes to--another hard truth. Because, in the end, it's much more relaxing to live in reality rather than continuing to try to spin the fantasies. I like the idea of rocky road ice cream--the way I like the idea of the romance with X-man. But the reality is he has un-separated with his wife. And ice cream makes me sick, as does craving a man who is not available. To live in the reality may sometimes be disappointing, but more than that, it's living in the light. I'm no longer digging and spelunking down deeper and deeper caverns in order to dodge what I've known is true all along.
To call rocky road ice cream my favorite would be to celebrate a thing that is poisonous to me.
My favorite ice cream isn't an ice cream at all--it's blackberry sorbet. It's rare--like August--and I'm nearly there.